About

ls5I’d prefer to say that I’m a Christian housewife and leave it at that. That I write about intersex in the hopes of raising awareness about such conditions, especially among Christians.

Life isn’t that simple, however. My Lord has called me to become more transparent. More vulnerable. And that means sharing my own history.

portrait2

You see, like the main character in my young adult novel, Confessions of a Teenage Hermaphrodite, I have a genetic condition that caused sexual ambiguity and, I was raised, for a time, as a boy.

XY-Turner Syndrome mosaicism resulted in my having a mix of testicular and ovarian tissue. Hermaphrodite is the old medical term for that. It’s not politically correct any longer, but it’s still accurate. In practical terms, what it meant was my puberty came out of a bottle.

My condition also made me tiny and frail as a child. So much so that my parents thought I might not survive. I had mild heart and kidney malformations, visuo-motor and spatio-temporal deficits, dyslexia, micrognathia (a pixie face), and a few other minor issues, like hypothyroidism, adrenal fatigue, and needing surgery to have vaginal intercourse.

easter

This is Easter, when I was five, with a tea set in my basket. (click for a close-up.) It took courage for my parents to let me move from playing with dolls to living as a girl. At the time, not even intersex kids had many options regarding their gender.

I was the smallest of my peer group until fifth grade, and it wasn’t until high school that one of the boys in my class was shorter than me. I kept right on growing into my early twenties.

jamieAt9

I’m nine in this photo. As a preteen, my health improved, and my father decided it was about time I started acting like a boy. No longer were feminine toys, clothes, or mannerisms allowed.

My brother was tall, and strong, and handsome. How bad could that be? But I felt like Pinocchio—if I were good enough, if I tried hard enough, maybe God would make me a real boy. And since I wasn’t, it must mean there was something bad about me. Perhaps it was that I dreamed of being a wife and a mom.

I was never very good—physically or emotionally—at being a boy. By the time I was seventeen, I was anorexic, anti-social, and suicidal. But a Christian boy cared enough about me to befriend me and share the Gospel. As a new Christian, I hoped to become the man my parents expected. Instead, the mask that I had relied on to function socially as a boy crumbled. What remained was an immature girl who wanted to serve her Lord.

passport

At eighteen, I thought getting away from my parents would help. So I moved from a supportive family to a dorm. It didn’t take long for the boys to make clear that I wasn’t one of them. And one proved he could do whatever he wanted to me.

The Lord made it clear that if I didn’t cling to Him, I’d die by my own recklessness. Living meant doing something about my condition, so I went to see a doctor. Most of my life, my mother, who was a nurse, had handled my medical treatment.

The doctor said testosterone and anabolic steroids would give me a male puberty—give me broad shoulders, a deep voice, body hair, muscles, facial hair, and a raging sex drive. But I liked my body the way it was, at least mostly, and after staying with boys in the dorm, I didn’t want to be any more like them.

The doctor thought my two most pressing issues were anorexia and depression. Estrogen would help me gain weight and would take care of at least the hormonal cause of my depression. Then he said I wouldn’t have any trouble being accepted as a girl.

I could have a life that didn’t revolve around gender.

The passport photo was taken shortly after my mom changed my legal status to female, about forty years ago.

20 thoughts on “About

  1. Pingback: Feb 17th – “Confessions of a Teenage Hermaphrodite” Author speaks on Intersex | PFLAG Atlanta

    • Lianne, the transgenders are the best forms of existence… The separating in 2,3,4 sexes was an experiment of God, but…the androginuous type I think is the best… (my humble opinion…) ♥

  2. Hello,

    My name is Molly Sipling and I am the Audience Development Assistant in the Fiction Department at Moody Publishers. I have recently come across your blog due to your interest in writing reviews of fiction novels. In April, we released The Turning, a fictional devotional title from award-winning author Davis Bunn.

    “A voice resonated from a distance and somehow from within. . .

    Against all earthly logic, it carried a divine command. And five very different people knew they were summoned to obey. They realize that one small personal response unveiled a new realm of moral responsibility. And this affirmation of everyday hope captures the attention of millions.

    Malicious elements soon align themselves to counter the trend. To terminate the movement they must also undermine its source. Can we really believe that God speaks to people today? Surely this must be dismissed as superstition or delusion. These well-intentioned but misguided individuals should not be allowed to cast our society back into the Dark Ages—power and money are at stake.

    The movement may herald a profound renewal – one that some are calling The Turning…”
    Interact with these characters in this devotional title and learn along with them how to hear and heed the voice of God. You can find out more, as well as access downloadable devotionals, at http://www.TheTurningBook.com. We are asking if you would be willing to write a review of this book for us and, in exchange, we will send you two copies of the book, one for you to read and review and the other to use as part of a giveaway on your blog.

    If you would be willing to do this, please e-mail me back at RNFiction@gmail.com with your mailing address. We will send you the copies of the book in return for your honest review.

    Thank you for your time!

  3. Aloha Lianne,

    I have nearly finished reading your story. Riveting!!I can’t put it down. I can see how much of your own story in in this book. It makes the story an even deeper book to read. I’ve cried in a few places and been deeply moved in others.

    Your telling of growing up with this condition is extraordinary. I am deeply honored that I got to read it.

    Thank you so much. It’s fabulous.

    Aloha Meg Amor 🙂

  4. Hi, i had the honor of speaking with you earlier today and just found your website… Thank you so much for blessing me with your attention and presence and caring about my situation, and it was an honor to read this short biography about you. I have so much respect for you.

  5. I just read it, and it’s beautiful. Thank you for caring, even in the slightest. You saved me, Lianne. I don’t know what I would’ve done without our conversation.

  6. I’m so excited to read your blog. As a conservative Christian who hasn’t had these struggles, I want to understand what it has been like and how God has walked with you through it. I don’t want to be insensitive or uninformed. And I don’t want to cast off certain issues of gender and sexuality as if they don’t exist simply because they don’t exist for ME. Thank you for your bravery!

    • Thank you for your kind words. I’m not sure it counts as bravery when you’re pushed from behind. 🙂 It’s my Lord that wants me to be more transparent and vulnerable.

  7. I shared your profile on Facebook. So inspiring.

    I have another writer friend with your same condition. She is a fabulous writer and a walking encyclopedia of information.

    TY so much for your courage!

    Sincerely,
    Ledia Runnels

  8. Hi Lianne!
    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Someone dear to me has 46XX Ovotesticular Disorder of Sexual development also known as an Intersex/Hermaphrodite. He was born with everything male except did have ambiguous genitilia. There is so much controversy amongst Christians of what is accepted and what is not. He has heard so many things in his life. I think about Galations 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. ” In regards to him marrying a woman or the debate in his mind of what is right or wrong…what advice can you give me to convey to him to give him some kind of Spritual Peace?

    • I would point to Isaiah chapter 56:

      “To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
      who choose the things that please me
      and hold fast my covenant, I will
      give in my house and within my walls
      a monument and a name better than
      sons and daughters; I will give them
      an everlasting name that shall not
      be cut off.”

      God created intersex. And He loves us because like male and female, we are created in His image.

      Kind regards,
      LS

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