Central To My Humanity?

Posted on April 11, 2021 by Lianne

A Christian friend recently suggested that being male or female is central to our humanity. He’s not the first one to do so.

God created mankind in His own image. Male and female He created us. Whether we’re male, female, or some combination of the two, we bear His image. A number of animal species are sexed in a way similar to humans and yet were not created in God’s image.

Adam and Eve sinned and were thrown out of the Garden of Eden. The result was disastrous for all of creation, but especially for us as fallen human beings. For Adam’s race—fallen humanity—the inability to do what we know is right is also central to our being. Our hearts are deceitfully wicked. Yet we still bear God’s image.

Jesus became like us. He took on our humanity. He became sin for us. He is not only our Redeemer, but our Kinsman. He died not for the angels, but to save those whom the Father had given Him. Us. Humans. That is surely more important to our humanity than the sex of our body. And we shall one day be more like Him. In bodies that do not reproduce.

This friend also suggested that intersex people are ‘already’ male or female, based on where God aimed His arrow, rather than where it struck. On what we might have been in the Garden of Eden, rather than on the body that God knit together in our mother’s womb.

My friend uses the potential for giving DNA or receiving DNA as God’s decree. Others say sperm or ova. Or the presence of a Y chromosome. Or the overall shape of the genitals at birth. In each case, they ignore the complexity of sex differentiation.

The result is often that we who are intersex are sometimes expected to be a sex that we’re not. No matter what the doctors do to my body, it’s not going to become male or female. Yes, I live as though my body were female. But I do so by God’s grace rather than by checking off all of the boxes.

Is intersex central to my identity? To my being? To my humanity? No. There is no special place or identity for intersex people in this country. Nor do I desire one. I’m content to live as a woman.

I write this—not because intersex is central to my humanity—but in response to one more Christian friend who thinks there can only be male and female, and isn’t shy about telling intersex people what their true sex ought to be based on.

The person I might have been had Adam never sinned doesn’t change the reality of my body or my gender. I am a part of the bride of Christ. I am a member of his body. As one who is being redeemed, Christ is central to who I am.

Yes, the Bible provides some distinct guidance based on our sex. And most people are born unambiguously male or female. It is good for a man and a woman to marry and produce Godly offspring. Not all can. And some choose otherwise for the sake of the Kingdom.

In the end, my Kinsman Redeemer will stand upon my grave. Mine. Even though my flesh has rotted away, I will see Him with my own eyes. Me and not another. Jesus knows me. I belong to Him.

My friend, I suggest to you that nothing matters more to our humanity than our relationship with the God who created us in His image. Nothing. Certainly not what sex we are.

You’re Invited!

Posted on October 20, 2020 by Lianne

You’re invited to a screening of the documentary Stories of Intersex and Faith on October 26th, which is Intersex Awareness Day. The time? 7:00PM CDT.

The eye-opening documentary explores the unique medical, religious, and social barriers that intersex people continue to face today. Through sharing the stories of five intersex people, Stories of Intersex and Faith ultimately helps viewers enter a more constructive conversation on one of the most divisive issues facing not only faith communities, but society as a whole.

While the medical community seeks to “fix” intersex children, many religious communities struggle to understand how intersex people fit into their male/female binary. Yet, these five remarkable stories reveal how some intersex people find healing and hope in their religious faith.

Together they insist, “It’s society that needs to be healed, not us.”

The screening will be followed byStories of Intersex and Faith followed by a panel discussion with Megan Shannon DeFranza, Lianne Simon, Marissa Adams, and Arlene B. Baratz.

Date: OCTOBER 26, 2020, Time: 7:00 p.m. CDT

Reserve your seat: REGISTER HERE

Join us on Intersex Awareness Day for a free, virtual screening of Stories of Intersex and Faith followed by a panel discussion with Megan Shannon DeFranza, Lianne Simon, Marissa Adams, and Arlene B. Baratz.

This event is sponsored by:

Carpenter Program in Religion, Gender, and Sexuality at Vanderbilt Divinity School
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Intersex Life at Vanderbilt University
Religion in the Arts and Contemporary Culture at Vanderbilt Divinity School
Vanderbilt LGBT Policy Lab
Vanderbilt School of Nursing.

Stories of Intersex and Faith is a partner project that CMAC Research Associate Megan Shannon DeFranza spear-headed while working on the Sex Differences project.

A Letter to my PCA Pastor

Posted on June 28, 2019 by Lianne

#NashvilleStatement #PCAGA

Rob,

Last night, the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church in America passed Overture 4, by which they endorsed the Nashville Statement, a document written by the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

Article VI of the Nashville Statement says that those born with a “physical disorder of sex development” (i.e. intersex),

“should embrace their biological sex insofar as it may be known.”

Article V states, in part,

“We deny that physical anomalies or psychological conditions nullify the God-appointed link between biological sex and self-conception as male or female.”

If self-conception (i.e. gender identity) can play no role, then how does one determine which sex an intersex person is to embrace?

Dr. Denny Burk, the president of CBMW, and one of the primary authors of the Nashville Statement, reduces sex to the presence or absence of a Y chromosome,

An infant with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome is born with female external genitalia and has testes in her abdomen, which, if left in place, will give her a feminizing puberty. She could live her entire life without knowing she has XY chromosomes. How is it Biblical to consider her male rather than a barren woman?

Medical studies suggest that the most reliable way of determining the gender of an intersex child is to wait until they’re old enough to speak and then ask them. Historically, the Church expected intersex people, when old enough, to choose either male or female. That’s what I did. My body’s intersex. I have Mixed Gonadal Dysgenesis. I was born with a mix of ovarian and testicular tissue. But some of my cells have a Y chromosome, so Dr. Burk, CBMW, the Nashville Statement—and perhaps now the PCA—would consider me male.

I’ve met hundreds of people with differences of sex development. Understand this—your Nashville Statement drives intersex people away from the Gospel. Historically, doctors have castrated us, surgically assigned us a sex, given us hormones, told us lies, kept secrets from us, and caused us to live in shame—all in the name of your precious binary vision of sex. When you say that we should embrace our sex insofar as it may be known, what we hear is that you approve of the things being done to us to coerce our bodies and our genders.

The PCA General Assembly also passed Overture 42, which establishes a study committee on sexuality. The PCA could clarify their stand on intersex and distance themselves from the approach taken by CBMW. It is rare, however, for Christians who issue pronouncements regarding intersex to actually listen to us before they speak.

If you discover that the reason your teenage daughter hasn’t gotten her period yet is that she has testes in her abdomen rather than ovaries and uterus, will your church insist that she’s really male? Often, the most serious issue for parents isn’t having a child whose sex is ambiguous; it’s maintaining a relationship with a church that doesn’t understand the issues they face.

Intersex and Faith’s mission is to help communities of faith minister to those born with a body outside the male-female binary. Our documentary, Stories of Intersex and Faith addresses how some people reconcile their faith with having a body that’s not entirely male or female. Our small-group curriculum is in beta test.

What if the doctors aren’t sure whether your newborn is male or female? Then contact us. We’ll help you find other parents of similar faith who also have an intersex child.

Rather than suggesting that an intersex child’s sex or gender be coerced based on the presence or absence of a Y chromosome, why not join us in helping those with a difference of sex development to thrive within the PCA?

I’m female in the eyes of God’s law. I hope to remain in good standing with Faith Presbyterian and the PCA.

Thank you,

Lianne Simon

Intersex in Christ: A Review

Posted on October 24, 2018 by Lianne

The Author:

Jennifer Anne Cox, PhD. teaches systematic theology as an Adjunct Faculty Member at Tabor College in Perth, Western Australia. Her newest book, Intersex in Christ: Ambiguous Biology and the Gospel was published recently by Cascade Books. I was given a copy in exchange for an honest review.

Disclaimer:

As a Christian with an intersex condition, I’m too close to this subject to give an entirely unbiased review. Please keep that in mind.

Introduction:

The author’s stated goal was to write an evangelical response to intersex, and to do so from a particular world view. Her words are directed at Christians.

“Yet an evangelical Christian response, which considers intersex through the lens of Christ, his person and work, is needed.” —page 2

Reaching Christians regarding intersex:

To the evangelical Christian, her message then is—the Gospel is as much for someone with an intersex condition as it is for you. Stop abusing these people.

Jennifer Cox addresses intersex from an evangelical point of view without reducing the complexity of human biology to the presence or absence of a Y chromosome. She doesn’t lecture intersex people about embracing the binary. Our bodies are fine the way they are.

A number of Christian scholars claim an intersex person’s ‘true’ sex can be determined from some indicator of God’s creational intent. So I was a bit surprised this author didn’t follow that well-trodden path.

Indeed, after discussing 1 Corinthians 7:17-24, she says:

“It is quite acceptable to live with the gender assigned at birth, and even possibly scribed into the flesh by surgery. God would not see this as a sin. The situation in which the intersex person finds himself or herself when coming to know Jesus as Lord is a situation in which that person may validly remain. However, it is not a sin to transition to the other gender. There is abundant grace in Christ. A decision about gender for the intersex person should be made according to grace and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The fact that this is difficult and may take some time to work through is not an insurmountable problem. Christians should recognize the grace of God in this matter and support the intersex person in the decision-making process.” —page 151

For that statement alone, I will be giving copies of this book to evangelical leaders and Christian friends willing to read it. I dearly wish those who signed the Nashville Statement would take the above quote to heart.

In her chapter on Sex, Gender, and Intersex, the author compares complementarian and egalitarian positions. For reference, most of the signatories to the Nashville Statement would claim to be complementarian. Jennifer Cox, is an egalitarian. As she says:

“I will advocate for a more egalitarian position, particularly in church. The egalitarian position would provide no hindrance to intersex persons taking up any role in church or society.” —page 78

She makes a strong case for her views and rightly associates the more extreme form of Complementarianism with Arianism, a heresy.

Although I have some areas of disagreement with her theology, I think she presents her case well.

So, yes, send a copy of this book to your Southern Baptist or Presbyterian Church in America friends.

About the Resurrection:

Although the author deals with a number of different subjects, I want to comment in more detail on her views of the Resurrection.

My mother once asked me whether I’d be male or female in Heaven. I told her that I didn’t know and wouldn’t care. My Redeemer loves me.

Jennifer Cox insists that our resurrected bodies will be binary—entirely male or female. Like many Christians, she dismisses the verses that speak about a lack of sex—or at least sexual function—in our new bodies. She says:

“Intersex bodies will be healed; intersex people will be restored according to God’s creative intent. This is not to say that identity will be in question, since identity is secured in Christ. However, which intersex person will be male and which female cannot be known in the present.” —page 127

So, rather than pointing to the presence or absence of a Y chromosome to determine ‘true’ sex, she maintains that only God knows, and He’ll make that clear at the Resurrection.

My fallen rational mind isn’t the measure of all things. But some of the statements evangelicals make about sex seem inconsistent to me.

There will be no marriage in Heaven. No sexual activity. No reproduction. The point of our resurrected bodies being sexed, according to Jennifer Cox is:

“Being male and female is a very significant part of being human, because this difference enables people to be ‘fellow humanity.’ Human sexual differentiation is part of our creaturehood. Therefore, we must expect that in the resurrection male and female sexual distinctions will remain.” —page 139

According to some evangelicals, being male or female is essential to our humanity. Yet being intersex is a disorder that can be healed without changing our identity. A binary sex is so central to our being that our resurrected bodies must be sexed. But intersex will be erased.

At a glance, my naked body’s female—wrinkles, sagging skin, and all. My gender wanders at times, but remains well within the bounds expected of a woman. That’s me.

If I rise from the dead with a completely female body, I won’t complain. It would seem odd to me, however, to suddenly have a functional reproductive system in a place where such will never be used.

If I rise from the dead with a completely male body, I won’t complain. But my gender would also need to change. Otherwise, I would become like the transgender people whom the author condemns because:

“their understanding of their own selves, is incongruous with their biological sex.” —page 38

In another chapter, the author says that:

“Identity is not primarily found in a physical attribute or the shape of our genitals.” —page 140

She also says,

“Human beings were created with bodies and we cannot disconnect ourselves from those bodies. In some sense we are our bodies.” —page 129

I agree that our bodies are an important part of our selves. In the Resurrection our bodies will still reflect our selves. If someone who lived most of her life as a woman—though intersex—is resurrected with a functional male reproductive system—how can that still be her self? And we shall surely be recognizable as ourselves in our new bodies.

Job said:

“I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” —Job 19:25-27

Reaching those with an intersex condition:

What about my intersex friends who aren’t Christians? Will I recommend the book to them?

No. It’s not directed at non-Christians. But I hope enough evangelicals read Intersex in Christ that the attitudes of Christians toward intersex people change. From what I’ve read in this book, I suspect the author shares that same vision.

“We must love people as they are, while also considering what they will become.” —page 5

Some Christians have made a point of telling me that intersex is a result of the Fall. Okay. But if you tell a woman in labor that her pain is due to the fall of mankind into sin, she’ll never let you share the Gospel with her. Love her first. Help her through that pain. Show her you care.

When trying to reach someone who is intersex, you can’t start with a view that we’re physically broken. And be aware that words you consider ‘the truth in love’ can still injure us.

The author says:

“It is false to declare that everything that occurs naturally is intended by the Creator to be that way. Not everything that exists necessarily ought to exist.” —page 58

I took that as, “You should not exist.” Is that fair of me? Perhaps not. But don’t expect an intersex person who reads Intersex in Christ to respond well to such things.

Remember that I said I’m not unbiased. I interpret language through the context in which I live and my particular history as both a Christian and intersex.

I don’t believe the author meant anything untoward by any of her statements. It’s just my cPTSD kicking in. We who are intersex—at least my generation—live in a world altered by trauma. Not caused by our being intersex, but rather by how people react to our differences.

It’s not that unusual for Christians to try to erase intersex. By minimizing our numbers. By reducing sex to a single biological parameter.

By assuming that we’re unhappy with our bodies. That intersex is a medical disorder rather than a part of the diversity of God’s good creation. By telling us we need or want to be healed.

By looking for our ‘true’ sex. By objecting to the gender we choose.

It’s unfair to suggest that this book actually says any of those things. But a number of my intersex friends are understandably sensitive. So, no, I’m not likely to recommend the book to them, except as something to give their Christian friends.

Drawing from Intersex Experience:

Many of the quotes the author uses are from intersex people I know, or from doctors I’ve seen or scholars I’ve corresponded with.

Megan DeFranza is one of my closest friends. Susannah Cornwall is one of the most winsome people you’d ever want to meet.

I was a member of ISNA. I’ve been involved with or attended intersex support group meetings for nearly twenty years. I know quite a few of the intersex people the book quotes.

I’ve met Doctors Reiner and Migeon and Berkovitz and Creighton and Minto. I know what it’s like to spread my legs with more than just my own doctor present. I’ve had genital surgeries to repair previous failed ones.

I’m delighted that the author quotes so many intersex people. It shows that she did her homework. That she cares to listen to us. But I hope that she has taken or will take the time and effort to develop intimate friendships with enough intersex people to really understand us. I hope that the AIS-DSD support group will let her visit one of their annual meetings.

Ending on a Good Note:

To be fair, Jennifer Cox says a number of very positive things about intersex people:

“However a person is sexed—female, male, or intersex—the human body is very good.”—page 44

and

“this does not necessarily imply that people who are unambiguously sexed are closer to the image of God than those who are intersex.” —page 55

and

“To intersex believers, I want particularly to emphasize that you are acceptable to God without alteration, because you are created in his image, made because of love, and are valued and dignified as an intersex person.” —page 165

Intersex in Christ—give a copy to your Christian friends.

Intersex & Attraction

Posted on July 23, 2018 by Lianne

Earlier this week, someone suggested that my marriage of eighteen years to my husband constitutes a homosexual relationship. His reasoning was that God’s intent for a person’s sex is determined exclusively by the predominant genital shape at birth and is immutable.

#intersex #Revoice18

My bits were, indeed, masculine in shape, but small in size and incapable of penetration. I have Mixed Gonadal Dysgenesis. My body’s a combination of male and Turner Syndrome female. I had ovatestes that resulted in a failed puberty. I was born with the cute—and feminine—pixie face characteristic of Turner Syndrome. My body’s intersex. Not male.

I hadn’t planned on addressing gender again—or my own sexuality—but I’m scheduled to attend the Revoice conference this week.”

The Revoice conference is being hosted by a church in my denomination. It’s purpose is, “Supporting, encouraging, and empowering gay, lesbian, same-sex-attracted, and other LGBT Christians so they can flourish while observing the historic, Christian doctrine of marriage and sexuality.”

The conference has resulted in quite a bit of controversy, on Twitter and elsewhere. A number of people have expressed views on “same-sex attraction” and whether or not being tempted is, by itself, sin.

Though I try to remain clear of the culture wars, I did want to talk a little about attraction from the viewpoint of an intersex woman who was raised for a time as a boy.

As a child, I expected to grow up to be a wife and a mother. I wanted to be pregnant with a baby, but had no idea what that involved beyond marrying a boy some day.

I was tiny and frail as a child, with spatial deficits that prevented me from learning dance or most sports. I have Ehlers Danlos—which meant floppy, hypermobile joints. I was uncoordinated. Most girls threw better than I did.

My father taught me to shoot and to fish and to hand him tools when he worked on the car. He took me riding with me sitting in front of him on the horse’s back. He was gentle with me. And good to me. Even though I wore dresses. And cried when he cut my hair.

Mom taught me to sew and cook and clean. And—as a nurse—kept me away from the doctors. For that I will be forever grateful. Too many intersex kids are traumatized at the hands of the medical profession.

I played softball. Well, sort of. With a brother and sister three years my junior. And the girls in the neighborhood. And, no, I wasn’t better at the game than they were.

When I was nine, I was still small enough to squeeze into my six-year-old sister’s dresses. And did. Often. Though such things clearly saddened my parents, they never punished me for what they considered cross-gender behavior.

In fifth grade, a boy invited me to his house to listen to a group I’d never heard of before—the Beatles. While we sat on his bed, he strummed air guitar and sang love songs to me. “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you…”

I wanted to marry him and have his babies. But it still wasn’t about sex. Nor did I consider myself gay. Jim loved me as a girl. Didn’t he? My father had told me that sometimes men had sex with other men, but it never occurred to me that I might be homosexual. Jim was, after all, a boy. And I wasn’t.

My family moved, so I never saw Jim again. Never got to say goodbye.

Jim flashing a peace sign?

I ran across a photo of him last week. Not in fifth grade, but a junior in high school. Did I tell you he was really cute? All the old longings rushed back. I’m happily married now, but I wondered what it would have been like to date Jim when we were both in high school. But with me an intersex girl.

I had crushes at that age as well. Arms wrapped tight around Ron, I spent hours on the back of his motorcycle. I still dreamed of being a wife and a mother, but holding him was all I dared. I knew I’d never have anything more than that. Because I was incapable of vaginal intercourse. As a male or a female. And who’d marry someone like me?

My sin was desperately wanting something God had not granted me—a body capable of bearing children—a body clearly female. And, no, I could not have fathered a child, either. Nor even penetrated a woman.

Thankfully, my mother and my doctors did eventually figure out that I’d be better off living as a girl. With my face and demeanor. And my lack of masculine sexual development. My endocrinologist said I’d have no trouble being accepted as a girl. Well, yeah.

I’m in my late sixties. I’ve lived my entire adult life as a woman. My puberty came from a bottle. It was years later than is usual—but it was a feminine one. I have hips and breasts. They’re mine. I grew them.

The boys in my classes got muscles and facial hair. And raging sex drives. I didn’t.

Jim was cute. I would probably have let him kiss me. But my feelings for the boy weren’t sexual. Rather, they reflected a longing for my childhood dream of motherhood.

There are no easy answers to #intersex. If you reduce the biological diversity of sex to the presence or absence of a Y chromosome, you can contribute very little of value to the conversation. The same applies to those who reduce sex to any other single parameter—like what’s between the ears.

As a child I was never confused about my gender. I knew that I wasn’t a boy. Or a girl. My body was different. I wanted one like all the other girls had. But I diligently prayed that God would make me a real boy. Because that’s what my parents wanted. And I assumed that, because He didn’t, that it must be because I still harbored the desire to bear children. Was that such a dreadful sin?

I learned to embrace God’s provision for my life. To accept my intersex body. I can’t be a man. And in your binary world, what does that leave?

It isn’t always about sex.

Barren Women and the Nashville Statement

Posted on October 5, 2017 by Lianne

Intersex & Faith, Inc. recently completed a survey of more than 100 of the signatories of the Nashville Statement, asking for clarification of Article 6, especially the call for intersex people to, “embrace their biological sex insofar as it may be known.”

Historically, doctors have castrated us, surgically assigned us a sex, given us hormones, told us lies, kept secrets from us, and caused us to live in shame—all in the name of their binary vision of sex. So it was easy for some of us to conclude that Article 6 called on us to embrace the evil being done to us.

None of the signatories who responded agreed with that reading. None appeared to be in favor of childhood genital surgeries. In fact, Dr. Denny Burk, one of the architects of the Nashville Statement, opposes them.

Regarding the treatment of intersex cases, we received a variety of replies. Most either said they didn’t have enough experience with intersex, or that individual cases merited deeper consideration than a set of rules would allow.

The largest group, however, referred us to the writings of Dr. Denny Burk, who appears to reduce the diversity of biological sex to the presence or absence of a Y chromosome.

We included a short questionnaire with our survey. It’s available online here. The first question deals with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome:

“Your sixteen-year-old daughter Connie’s a godly young woman. She’s healthy but never got her period. A specialist says that she has Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. Although externally she’s a typical female, she has XY chromosomes, and testes in her abdomen rather than ovaries and uterus.”

Dr. Denny Burk, on his website (about halfway down the page in the comment section) addresses AIS:

“With AIS, there is an XY chromosomal make-up and the internal organs are still male. It is the external reproductive features that are malformed. This is a tragic, difficult condition, and those who experience it are in need of our compassion, love, and understanding. But that doesn’t preclude us from helping them see that they are essentially male in spite of ambiguities in external features.”

In his book, What is the Meaning of Sex?, on page 81, Dr. Burk appears to suggest that anyone born with a vagina but with XY chromosomes should be considered male.

“Try to determine as soon as possible the chromosomal makeup of the child. If there is a Y chromosome present, that would strongly militate against raising the child as a female, regardless of the apperance of the genitals or other secondary sex characteristics.”

This is certainly different than the commonly-accepted Biblical view or the historical view of the Church regarding how to determine a person’s sex. The Bible would consider a woman with CAIS to be female.

Barren women are usually infertile for biological reasons. Often, that is an intersex condition such as Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. It is only recently that the technology became available to determine karyotype (e.g. XX or XY).

A woman with Swyer Syndrome would have a functional vagina and uterus, but no gonads (or penis). Using IVF and a donor egg, some have carried a baby to term. Yet it appears that Dr. Burk–and some of the signatories of the Nashville Statement–would still consider her male because she has a Y chromosome. Again, the Bible would consider her female–a barren woman.

With the continuing debate over the ethics of transgender treatment, I’m astounded that any conservative Christians would take the position that someone born with a vagina and no penis is male, regardless of their genetics.

If you’re a Christian, and your child is intersex, please contact Intersex & Faith.

liannesimon at yahoo dot com

The Reformation Project

Posted on January 11, 2017 by Lianne

“The Reformation Project is a Bible-based, Christian direct action organization that works to promote inclusion of LGBT people by reforming church teaching on sexual orientation and gender identity. We envision a global church that fully affirms LGBT people.” — from the Reformation Project website.

I’m a Christian housewife. My husband and I belong to what most would consider a conservative church. I’m also intersex; my body isn’t completely female or male.

For a time, I was raised as a boy. And it was during that period in my life that a young man shared the Gospel with me. He could have condemned me for not being masculine enough. Or for being attracted to boys. Or for wearing dresses. Instead, he encouraged me toward a childlike faith in Christ.

I spent about a decade answering inquiries on behalf of a support group for the parents of children born with Mixed Gonadal Dysgenesis—an intersex condition very similar to mine. I learned then that a large minority—if not a majority—of the parents of intersex children are conservative. And they are the audience I had in mind when I started sharing my story. It’s them I hope to persuade to preserve their children’s options. To avoid unnecessary medical treatment. And to support their children when the Church doesn’t.

I have chosen—for the sake of intersex children—to remain outside the debates over LGBT issues. I will say simply that my Lord has called me to love without hesitation. There are enough people willing to argue the doctrinal points.

A Safe Place To Learn

Posted on December 18, 2015 by Lianne

Nobody told me I was intersex when I was a child. I’m not even sure how much my parents knew. Back then, physicians often kept such things a secret. After my health improved, my mother didn’t take me to the doctors, anyhow. As a nurse, she handled my medical care herself. And I’m not certain she would have told my father anything.

All I knew was that I was the smallest of my peer group and had a cute pixie face. It wasn’t until fifth grade that a classmate was shorter than me. Karen was her name. She and I used to play hopscotch during recess. Until one day our principal said I had to play with the boys.

I have spatial deficits, okay? I can’t learn to dance or play basketball. As a child, I also had hypermobile joints. I didn’t have much in the way of muscle development. And until high school, I was smaller than all of the guys. I didn’t care if people thought I threw like a girl and ran like a girl—teasing I could handle. But playing with the boys got me hurt.

In fifth grade I had my first crush. Jim invited me over to listen to a new group—the Beatles. We sat on his bed while he sang their love songs to me. I dreamed of marrying him and having his babies. I begged my parents to let me grow my hair long, but they said I’d look like a girl.

Well, yeah. You think so? My XO cell line gave me a small jaw, which made my face more feminine than it otherwise would have been.

Fifth grade would have been an appropriate time to speak with a psychologist about gender. And explore my options. But such wasn’t available. Even to a feminine intersex kid. So I shut down and became the geeky student who never spoke to anyone but still managed to break the grading curves.

My SAT score was 1552. They say my IQ is 161. I survived K through 12. Some kids don’t. Especially kids who are different. Outsiders get bullied. Outsiders may not get as much help from their teachers. On occasion, their grades are lower simply because they’re different.

My college threatened to expel me for being too feminine. I survived that as well. By the grace of a loving God, because I didn’t have much human help.

I’m a Christian. Whatever I’m supposed to believe about LGBT kids, I know this—bullying isn’t right. That’s why I’m on the board of Pride School Atlanta. Because kids who are different need our love. And a safe place where they can flourish.

This year my royalty payments for A Proper Young Lady will go toward funding Pride School Atlanta. Yeah, that’s not much. But, you know, every little bit makes a difference.

So, buy a book. Or contribute directly to Pride School Atlanta here.

#Intersex—Disclosure and Blowback

Posted on October 31, 2015 by Lianne

Photo courtesy James Westenbroek

Male, Female, and Intersex in the Image of God
Thursday evening, Megan DeFranza and I spoke at Calvin College as a part of their Sexuality Series. The presentation was LiveStreamed and is available here(presentation) and here(Q&A).

Several people commented on how brave I was to share my story, but I don’t wish to mislead anyone—I’m not. Bravery involves a readiness to face danger and pain.

I doubt I’ll ever be a match for the emotional turmoil involved in talking about personal experience with intersex. Even though I never had to suffer unwanted medical interventions. If I were brave, I’d stand in front of you with my shields lowered as I disclosed my heart.

At some level, though, I can’t bear to face it all, so instead, I dissociate. I box up all the unpleasantness and let it bleed out after everyone’s gone (excepting perhaps my husband). That’s what I hide when I’m on stage or in front of a classroom.

Therapy. Yes. If I had the time. And the money. And could place enough trust in the medical profession.

Fortunately, I have a Redeemer who loves me and doesn’t mind my curling up on his lap. I don’t have to be a mature adult for Jesus, you know. I simply have to admit my need of him.

And He’s why I seek transparency. Why I sign up for a speaking engagement when I know the cost may be brutal. Why I risk offending both my intersex and my Christian friends. (‘Cause I know I’ll get some of the details wrong. Forget where that quote in Isaiah is.)

Secrecy—the first pillar of intersex treatment. Unfortunately, many in the Church remain unaware of the existence of those who don’t fit into their neat male-female binary.

Surgery—the second pillar. Without consent. Without full disclosure. To erase intersex.

Shame—the third pillar. Because there’s something so horrible about our bodies that we can’t even talk about them.

What chance has an intersex child against the organized might of the medical profession and the complicity of society in general?

Christians need to help. And that doesn’t mean telling people who are different they’re going to hell. It means caring enough to put an end to the mistreatment of those born outside the binary. It means welcoming us in the open. And without shame.

Thank you, Julia Smith, Program Coordinator at Student Life and Director of the Sexuality Series at Calvin College for inviting Megan and me to speak and for watching over us during our stay.

Thank you, Elisha Marr, Assistant Professor of Sociology—and your students—for your time and polite questions.

Thank you, SAGA (Sexuality and Gender Awareness) for welcoming us to the campus. And for the cool T-shirts!

And, thank you Calvin College, for your hospitality.

Why Christians Should Oppose Bathroom Bills

Posted on March 12, 2015 by Lianne

Florida, Kentucky, and Texas, are considering–or have passed–bills that would limit who can use sex-specific restrooms. The stated intent is to prevent men from dressing as women and entering a restroom to expose themselves, rape someone, or commit some other crime against a woman or child. The real intent appears to be to prevent transgender people from using a bathroom at all. As a perhaps unintended consequence, the bills would also affect those of us born with an intersex condition and people who aren’t quite as masculine or feminine as most everyone else.

image from wipeouttransphobia.com

One of the Texas bills specifies that sex is determined by chromosomes, thus rejecting transgender people who have changed their legal sex. Even in another state.

There are several good reasons for Christians to reject such folly.

1) A woman with the complete form of Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome is born with XY chromosomes, female-typical genitals, and testes in her abdomen rather than ovaries and uterus. If her testes are left in place, she’ll have a normal feminine puberty, yet without menstruation. She might well live her entire life without knowing she’s intersex. The Bible would consider her a barren woman. The Texas bill would consider her male. Such is an egregious persecution of an innocent person.

2) The proponents of these bills state that the intent is to protect children from predators. Yet we already have laws that would apply to a man dressing as a woman, entering a women’s restroom, and committing a crime against someone in the restroom. Exposing oneself or raping someone is already against the law.

3) The bills would force transgender people to use a bathroom that goes against their gender, thus making bathroom occupants uncomfortable and increasing the likelihood of violence against the transgender person. Below is a photo of Buck Angel, an XX female-to-male transsexual. Legally, he’d have to use the womens’ restroom.

4) People born with intersex conditions in which their chromosomal sex doesn’t agree with their genital sex would have to use a bathroom inappropriate to their gender. From the wording, it’s likely that I would be unable to legally use either a mens’ restroom or a womens’ restroom. My karyotype is 46,XY,22qs+/45,X,22qs+, which is certainly not standard male or female.

5) One of the Texas bills actually offers a bounty for anyone finding a transgender person in a bathroom different from one that would ‘match’ their biological birth sex. This would encourage people to harass anyone whose presentation doesn’t fit a binary model of sex. A teen not quite as masculine as his peers might well find a bathroom an unpleasant place to visit. As if they weren’t already bullied enough.

6) Most states have laws that allow a legal change in sex. The Texas bill would ignore the legal sex status of a person, regardless of the place of their birth. But only when they enter a restroom. So, they’d be legally one sex outside the restroom and the other when inside. Does that really make sense to anyone?

7) The law isn’t enforceable without draconian intrusions on privacy. I’m female. I look like a woman. Is someone who doesn’t know that I’m intersex going to stop me at the bathroom door and ask for a karyotype? I think not. Only those whose appearance doesn’t fit someone’s concept of masculine or feminine is going to be harassed. So, enforcement will be selective, discriminating against those whose appearance isn’t masculine or feminine enough.

8) Come on. Really. Most bathrooms have stalls. And most female-to-male trans people aren’t going to be using the urinals. Okay? You’re not gonna see their private parts.

9) Is this really the Gospel? Would the love of Christ harass people whose only goal is to pee in peace? Even if you’re positive that transgender people are breaking God’s law (which they’re not–see Matthew 19:12), the bills would discriminate against people who aren’t transgender.

It’s clear to me that this isn’t about preventing rapes. It’s about a bigoted rejection of people who are already subject to a high suicide rate, a high murder rate, and bullying. Sorry, but what happened to compassion? As Christians, we should share the Gospel and repent of our hate.

‘If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.’ 1 John 4:20 (ESV)

See Hating Transgender Kids